True Confessions by T.J. Schroeder

This wasn't what Bailey had expected at all.

Yesterday had been a bitch of a day. First he pulled down a double shift because of the goddamn flu that was going around, causing half the force to call in sick. It had been pretty damn steady all day, too.One fruitcake after the next either calling or showing up at the desk,claiming to have seen this or that: a suspicious man lurking in some neighborhood filled with rich society babes that had too many face lifts and too much free time, a scream heard coming out of some alley that had turned out to be two cats going at it, and another in a long line of UFO sightings. By the time he actually left, he was pretty sure he was the only guy in the whole damn city that had half his marbles in place.

Things at home didn't improve his mood any. Ever since Linda took off with that Buckley guy three months before, he hadn't been able to eat much. But it was the lack of sleep that really got to him most days. Even after chugging down a fifth of whatever happened to be in the house or on sale at the discount liquor place, he was usually left staring wide eyed at the ceiling, or even more likely, the inside of the toilet.

And now, here he was again, at the end of another goddamn sixteen hour day, being told to take down a statement from some screwed up chick that probably off-ed her old man. The Grimwold case. It had been pretty cut and dry from the beginning two weeks before. Old man. Young wife. Big insurance money. There had been another possibility, a business partner that had the opportunity and a motive of his own, but you couldn't help but know it was the wife.Gregson had been on this one from the beginning, but Gregson was now out with the flu, and he was stuck here tying up the loose ends of a case he didn't know squat about. And if that wasn't enough to piss him off, he was stuck doing it alone, no partner, no back up, no nothing. It was against the force's policy, but policy didn't seem to mean shit a lot of times around the place. He just hoped this crazy broad wasn't long winded. maybe she came to confess and get it all over with.

When he walked into the small room, someone could've knocked him over with a feather.

He saw her fingernails first, painted a bright red, making trails through her long, blond hair as she slowly pulled it back from her face. And what a face. This babe could make any of them so-called supermodels look like a pile of dog shit. She turned to face him and he swore he saw the barest trace of a smile.

"uh, hi, I'm officer bailey. I'm here to take your statement."

She trailed her right hand down the side of her face, the index finger and that bright red fingernail leaving a small reddish line, and rested it just above the swelling of her breasts. "Natalie Gregson."Her voice was murky and deep, filled with the smoke of endless cocktail parties. "it's very nice to meet you, officer bailey."

Bailey sank down into the metal chair opposite her, suddenly very aware of his own appearance, something he never gave much thought to at other times. But now he could practically feel the flaws. Balding head.A gut filled with too many cheeseburgers and extra large fries, that had grown to the point where he left the top button on almost all his pants undone and hid it with a belt. A nose so red that it practically screamed "alkie" to anyone who looked his way. Jesus, he felt like some goddamn troll.

"where should I begin, officer bailey?" She asked, her hand dropping just a bit more and now playing with the top button of her blouse,twisting it nervously.

He didn't seem to remember the hurry he had been in just a few minutes before. "wherever you want, ma'am." He slid the tape recorder in front of her and pressed the on button.

She sat back. "I was very much in love with my husband, officer. you really must believe that. when we first met, so many people thought I was simply after his money, but that was never the case, not at all.even though no one seems to believe me, it was victor that insisted there be no prenuptial agreement. it was victor that insisted on that enormous insurance policy. not me. I didn't care about any of that.victor was everything I looked for in a man. attractive in his own way,very strong with tremendous eyes. like yours, really."

Bailey tried not to show that he was flattered, hell, more than flattered. He shifted in his seat and tried to keep his poker face, but he could feel a blush rising to his cheeks. And he was a man who hadn't blushed in more than thirty years.

"for the first two or three years, he was so attentive. so available and so caring. he gave me everything I ever asked for, more than I could have ever imagined, really. it was like a dream come true. but as time went on, it all began to change, he began to change."

She stopped talking for a minute and Bailey was able to study her even more closely. Jesus, she was something. Blond hair, probably out of a bottle somewhere, but it looked so soft, so natural. Big, blue eyes. And her skin. So smooth, and he could just imagine how soft it probably was. He knew if he touched her, she'd be so soft.

She had continued to twist at her top button, and suddenly it came undone. "it started to be noticeable in our bedroom first. victor became very uninterested in sex, very inattentive." She looked up,directly into his eyes. "before that, we had a wonderful sex life.sometimes, we would make love for hours and hours. and we were always trying new things."

Bailey shifted in his chair again.

"but then, nothing. and he became so moody and so, mean. he began to accuse me of seeing other men, which was just ridiculous. accused me of sleeping around, of having men over into our house. after a few months of threats and all this terrible yelling, he started to become violent."

She got up from her chair and began to walk around the room. Bailey tried to look as if he wasn't staring, but he couldn't help it. Her jeans clung to her body like a second skin, her sweater was stretched as far as it could go in covering her bosom. Bailey couldn't help but wonder what she had meant by "trying new things."

She stood against the wall and stretched. "the first time he hit me,I was so stunned I didn't know what to do. I just sat there, staring at him, so surprised that he could treat me that way. later on, he started to apologize and he cried for so long. I felt terrible for him. and,maybe it was a mistake, but I forgave him, which he said he didn't believe I could ever forgive him after that. so I even went so far as to tell him I'd prove I'd forgiven him." Bailey watched as her hand began to play with the next button of her blouse. " I undressed, right there and then and we made love on the floor, and then again, in the kitchen and again in the bedroom."

Bailey could practically see her doing these things in his mind.

"it started a pattern after that. he'd hit me, then apologize over and over. I started wondering what I had done wrong and what I could possibly do to make him love me again., I bought all different types of lingerie, wore then for him, did whatever he asked, whenever he asked.but it never seemed enough." She wiped at a tear in her eye. "then, on the night he died..."

At about the time Bailey realized she was confessing, he stopped listening completely. He kept looking at her face, her hair. In his mind she was splayed out on the hood of his car, begging for him. Jesus,how could that son of a bitch hit this gorgeous young girl? Didn't he know how many men would have given their fuckin' eye teeth for just one night with something like this? Didn't he know what he had right there in the fucking palm of his hand?

Now, she was going to be sent off to some goddamn women's prison where god knows what was going to happen. Jesus, the guards would behaving a field day when she got there. It just wasn't right at all.

"I picked up the scissors then..." Her voice trailed off. She sat back down across the table from him and started to tremble. "I really don't remember much, it becomes such a blur. but I know I stabbed him with them. I don't know how I could have done such a thing. and now,when I think of what's going to happen to me." She bit her lower lip, a simple movement that caused Bailey's head to start swimming.

He was fighting with himself. Think, you stupid son of a bitch, he thought to himself. She can't go there. Too soft, too easy a target.But then his other side would argue, do your job, she killed somebody,she's admitting to it right in front of you.

She was crying softly now. Looking at him, with those beautiful blue eyes. He couldn't help letting his eyes drop and watching her cleavage heaving with her sobs. "isn't there something you can do, Officer Bailey? I'm so frightened."

His saner, more dependable side was winning the fight. Of course, there was something he could do. Take the tape, turn it in, be done with it.What else was he going to do? Hell, try to frame the business partner instead and tell the little lady to start pulling out that lingerie shit for him? Of course, not, he was a reasonable guy with a reasonable mind.

When he felt her foot trailing up his thigh and heading higher, he made up his mind.

His hand reached for the tape recorder, finding the erase button.

And pushed it.


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